I'm a two-fisted drinker!

Last night, Tara and I went out to dinner (Subway). Afterwards, we briefly stopped by Publix (our local grocer) for their Holiday Feast - food tasting-thingy. Tara knew that it was going on, but she wasn't sure if we would be able to make it - so she surprised me in a round about way.

Anyway, it's cool because they let you sample all of the food and drinks that they are trying to sell for the holiday season. They even give let you sample wines. Normally, I don't try the wines, but this year, I've decided to be a bit more mature and I tried them all! There were a bunch of different types and such. After drinking the equivalent of maybe a HALF GLASS, I got TIPSY! Yup, folks, I'm a lightweight!

And by two-fisted, I mean two of those itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie sample cups!

~~~~~

Incidentally, there were none of the diet wines that this cat mentions on his (or her) site. I'm not sure I get the entire concept of diet wines. I mean, unless you're an alcholoic, do you really need to worry about the sugar content? In any event, go check out the site. It's pretty interesting, although there are a few typos and the formatting needs some work. But don't let that bother you; it's still informative. (Plus, they have a wine gift basket feature.)

Sunshine

Hello...

My name - what? My name - slick-a slim shaddy!

Why I wrote that, I have no idea.

Anyway, all is good. We have not broken up. We are "talking" working and through things right now.

It is very true that we do not break up well. We have tried, on numerous occassions and we CAN'T do it. Perhaps that's good. We just need to realize that and go from there. If we don't want to break up, than we need to get through our shit or at least work on our shit. And we are. A good buddy of ours laid it out for us; it put things into perspective.

I will probably post later today, but I wanted to give a "hello, I'm alive" update in the meanby.

Sunshine

Blogging break?

Listen, y'all. If my previous post is any indication of the way things are going, I may be taking a blogging break. I'm not so sure, but I encourage y'all to subscribe to my feed, that way you'll know when I'll be back. (For those of you not familiar with a feed, I think it comes in your e-mail when I update.) More than likely, I won't take a break; this shit is cathartic, but you never know.

Me in your e-mail

I am woman, here me ROAR!

Cover your eyes, folks. I am NOT in a good mood.

1 mmph *shutting mouth*
2 Why *mumble*
3 me? *grumble*
4 Shoot
5 *covering my mouth with my hand*
6 Darn it.
7 *shaking fist in the air*
8 Fudge!
9 *stomping foot on ground*
10 Aw, shit, here it comes...

GODDAMNMOTHERF*CKINGPEACEOFSH*THIJOSDEPUTAC*NT
*SSHOLEPINCHECABRONF*CKING*SSHOLEBUTTLICKER
SONOFAB*TCHSH*THEAD*SSWIPEB*TCHPUTAF*CKERMIERDA
*throwing a very loud temper-tantrum*

I GIVE THE FUCK UP!

*quieting down*

I give up.

*stomping away, defeated and angry, wiping tears from my eyes*

~~~~~

Please feel free to add words to match the mood. No, really, I encourage it - I won't be offended - I promise. Besides, my cussing vocabulary is a bit lacking, as y'all can tell. Oh, and correct my Spanish if you need to. Hell, while you're at it, add some more curse words in different languages, even if they're wrong - I won't know the difference

(Note that, while I am obviously pissed at somebody (duh!), I am not cussing that person out, I am merely (ha!) letting out my rage and this is how I am choosing to do it.)

Total dorkness

My "How much is your blog worth" widget changed today! (Scroll down on the right sidebar.)

Previously, my blog was worth $1129.08.
Now, my blog is worth $6209.94.

I just reentered my data in and got the new figure.

Is it accurate? I don't know. Do I care? Nope. Is it fun? Yup. Isn't that what matters? Hell yes!

Sunshine

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin eater!

Figured I'd post a little something different today, specially since it's been on my mind.

This topic (cheating) has been on my mind as of late and it was brought straightup to the forefront last night and this morning.

I trust T unequivocally, but I keep my eyes and ears open to things going on. Do I worry that she will cheat on me - Hell no! (T and I have an agreement that if we want to pursue other people outside of the realtionship, it's over.) But I have a healthy suspicion (not paranoia or psycho-jealousy) of the people that T hangs around with and the things that she does. I also know that when T goes out, she is the center of attention and she almost always has people telling her how cute she is and that if she were single - well, you get the idea. This makes T feel good, and, while I don't appreciate it too much, I certainly don't get upset either, as long as no lines are crossed.

We have a general rule that we speak to each other by midnight every night, regardless if we are out or studying, etc. We spoke last night at around 9. She went out with her peeps. Later, I called her at about 11:45 on my way to bed; she didn't answer so I left a message. Then I went to bed with the phone next to my head and didn't wake up till morning. At that point, I realized that T had not called. Automatically, when that occurs (she doesn't call when she's supposed to), two things happen: I get worried that she's in a car accident and I worry that she's doing something she's not supposed to do. I almost always dismiss the second thought because why jump to conclusions without cause or merit? I called her (several times) and finally got in touch with her. She apologized (I didn't say anything or prompt it!) and told me that her phone has been dying on her lately.

My point (and I do have one) is several-fold:

Even given our current situation, I still trust T. I haven't been given any reason not to.

I believe that a healthy jealousy/suspicion is a good thing. Whenever I tell T that I was feeling these things (and I almost always do tell her), she thinks its cute and that it shows that I think of her as mine (again, not in a psychotic, uber-possessive way).

This leads me to two things:

1. T needs to get that damn phone fixed. I don't like worrying like that.
2. Does everyone think I'm crazy?

Sunshine

Pay it forward...

Please go read this incredibly touching story. It's not related to this blog, so I won't elaborate. However, after you read the story, go buy the book. The person has a link to Amazon or you can use mine.

Hat tip to Brenda Coutler for the heads up.

Sunshine

The previous post is all the more awful, because we both did special things for each other yesterday.

I left a card that I had made on the computer under her pillow. She left me some sushi in the fridge at my house and left a nice note under my pillow.

We love each other, a lot.

The question is are we going to get through this bullshit?

Keep hope alive! Keep hope alive!

Sunshine

Save the drama fo' yo' mama!

I wish I could say that and mean it, but, nooooo, I'm a lame-O and can't!

*Be forewarned, friends of T and Sunshine - this is a rant and I'm a bit pissed. I have tried to provide both sides of the argument, but, realistically, it's not possible.*

So, yesterday started off good. We slept well, T drove me to work and it was kinda sad (as it should be), we chatted on the phone several times, and then - BAM! - about 4 PM, drama. I'll give the deets, but what actually happened isn't really significant because this shit happens all the time now.

Anyway... We had a genuine misunderstanding on both of our parts (as I see it) as to what we were going to do for dinner last night. I invited her out, she agreed, I forgot that my mom was cooking, I said let me call her, T copped an attitude, we did not have dinner. We discussed it later on the long, cold ride home. We proceeded to have an argument ("discussion") and she left by peeling out of the driveway and me crying on the damn sidewalk.

Misunderstandings are as follows: T thought I was saying that because my mom was supposed to cook, I couldn't go out with her (T) and she got mad that I chose my mom over her; I was actually going to call my mom to see if she had cooked yet, to tell her not to if she hadn't. I, on the other hand, took T's reticence that she had changed her mind and did not want to go out.

Obviously, we both should have clarified.

We were able to work through it or, more accurately, push it aside, and we chatted later, clarified our positions somewhat (she's still upset with me) and passed a peaceful evening alone.

(There was some other associated mom drama earlier, but it's just the same shit.)

~~~~~

Let me tell y'all, I am getting tired of this crap. Real fast.
(I know she is, too, but this is about me, damnit!)

I can't figure out what the effing problem is. Am I continually making mistakes? Are they getting worse? Is T more sensitive to any mistakes (something that would have gone unnoticed before is now prime grounds for a "discussion")? Am I not proving myself enough? Is this ish with my mom really the effing problem? Is T more insecure than she should be? Am I stupid that I can't figure it out?

Of course, maddeningly, the fucking (effing just doesn't cut it on this one) answer is yes to all of them (except the stupid one, I can't claim that)!

I don't know what to do about this stuff with my mom and T. I really don't. I know that the situation was set up when we all lived together and a good portion of it is my fault - for not standing up to both of them and actively working to find a common ground, but what the eff am I supposed to do now? T is uber-insecure (I don't mean that in a judgemental way, it just is) about my mom and I don't know how to combat/fix it. Why should I have to choose between T and my mom? I shouldn't have to and I know that.

I don't know, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. T feels that she has been grievously wronged by my mom. The question is how do I fix it or make it better or move forward?

Arrrgh! Help, please.

Sunshine

Recap

I'm so far behind in my posts, that I'm just going to give a quick recap of the weekend and yesterday.

I crashed over T's house Sat, Sun, and Mon - wee!

We went out Sat night, which was AWESOME! I haven't danced in months and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My fav go-go dancer (not stripper!)wasn't there, but, eh, what are you gonna do? T absolutely loves when I dance for her and other people. I tend to get all sexy, and it rocks! Can you tell I had a great time. I'm going to have to do this more often, regardless what my school schedule is.

Sunday, T took me for sushi. I always enjoy sushi!

Yesterday, we had a bit of an issue, but we seem to have worked through it. I would have posted on it yesterday, but I was way bummed out and on the verge of tears, so that was a no-go. T and I were talking about when we want to get married and have the actal ceremony. T proposed to me years ago and we have never had a ceremony, for whatever reason (actually, quite a few reasons, but for another day). Now that we've been working on things, I assumed that once we were done with the 3 month trial, we would work on actually having some sort of ceremony.

So, T and I were talking about this and I told her how I felt. Y'all can hear the screeeeeching noises, right? Yeah, she pretty much was like, not no, but hell no, in a very nice, diplomatic way, of course. Her reasonings were that we are just now working on things and we shouldn't jump into the marriage/ceremony thing until we know for sure. Logically, this makes sense - it really does, but I wasn't thinking about that early yesterday.

We haven't talked it out, but T did say yesterday, after all that, that she wants to get married sooner. So we'll see...

Well, there you go. Consider yourselves caught up.

Sunshine

OKMG losing steam?

I'm starting to get a little worried. Since T gave me her committment to work on things for 3 months, I haven't done nary a thing for OKMG (well, OK, I have, but nothing major). I can't let this happen, because it's crucial to maintaining the good energy between T and I. T even commented on this yesterday, saying that she knew it was going to happend once she gave me a committment.

I have a wonderful list of suggestions from my readers; I have a kit and, yet, nothing.

This tells me that I need to restructure some things. Obviously, my kit, in it's current form, is not helping me or prompting me to do anything, so I am going to change it up - make it a bit more user-friendly.

We have cardstock and MS Publisher here at work; I think I might start making her fun cards to send her. I have some notecards that are blank inside, but I like to use those for when I'm there. A card with a funny saying or cute pic would be good to mail her.


I speak to her on the phone all the time, but I don't always say anything meaningful or heartfelt. I'll focus on that as well.

I can do this, y'all!

Sunshine

OKMG Recap - Thursday

Thursday, I actually went out! Wee! I hadn't done that in a while. IT was good to see other people and not just my baby.

I went to Sky's book-signing party (note: this will probably be the last time I pimp the book out, excluding the sidebar link.). Congratulations Sky!

I had some champagne and some to-die-for humus (I'm calling you out, Stix, for that homemade version!). I also danced a bit and had a generally good time.

One of the highlights of the evening was talking to everyone about the blog. Apparently, I have a nice following! Thanks for all the well-wishes. I appreciated speaking to people in person *gasp* about the blog and it's (my) mission. Thanks also to everyone who was concerned about me and making sure I was good. Love you all!

I did see T that night. We danced a bit and talked and made out in the car (hehe). It was really nice. It's such a treat when I get to see T on a day other than Sat or Sunday. (I won't go into detail of how much sleep I lose when I do this, though.)

Sunshine

Preamble

OK, well, it's been a few days since I've written and, as such, I will be writing a bunch of posts today and maybe tomorrow to catch up. So consider this preamble a notification to check back often.

Disclosure Policy

Basically, this says that:
1. Occasionally, I write sponsored posts.
2. These posts will not always be identified.
3. I will never post something that is not related to this blog and my topic.

*******

This policy is valid from 30 October 2006


This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact savvysunshine (savvysunshine AT hotmail DOT com).


This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

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I'm pretty swamped at work today, so I won't be doing a real post. Check for one later tonight or tomorrow.

Loves...

Sunshine

Ask me why I am so tired- Go ahead, ask me!

Well, I'll just tell you why:

I did not get to sleep until 2AM, but it's all good because it was for altruistic purposes. *hoity-toity accent* I shall explain...

Yesterday, T was not feeling well at all (cramps) and she kept asking me to spend the night. I told her that I was not sure, because I had to take my mom to the bus stop in the AM, and if I didn't, mom would have to get up an extra hour early. So, I had to really consider it. T got all mad at me, because, as she sees it, taking my mom to the bus stop was more important than making her feel better. (I've lost most of the argument, but that's the gist of it - 1st rule in relationship survival, forget stuff very quickly.). So, needless to say, yesterday day and early evening were not very pleasant for me. *

Anyways, back to the task at hand...

Well, I decided not to sleep over, but I did surprise her and go over to her house for a few hours to help her go to sleep (out of the gutter, folks). She has not slept very well in the past few days and I have a special trick to make her fall asleep. Takes 5 minutes tops.

So, I went over and surprised her (although the dog, Skittles, called to warn her, so I'm not sure how surprised she actually was), and she even got a little mushy to see me. Unforch, she wasn't ready for bed. But, I ate with her and I got to give her a nice foot and leg rub, which was very well received.

After she ate and and showered, I was able to put her to bed. But, I was over later than I had anticipated. I ended up leaving at about 1 AM. (Oooh, funny story, I fell asleep for a bit and part of my left side, including my left eye, fell asleep. Yeah, my left eye - for an hour! How fucked up is that?) As such, I didn't get home and to bed until 2AM (after having issues getting gas - aarrrgh!)

Oh, and BTW, whatever my funk was (better know as PMS), I'm out of it! Plus, after a huge fight/issue/discussion, I tend to get very thoughtful and slightly morose for a few days.

Sunshine

********
*1. Why is it so damn difficult for people (T) to see both sides of the argument and understand where the other person (me) is coming from. Sometimes I feel that she takes something, picks one element out and runs with it, when all she would have to do is look at it from both sides.

2. No words could near relay the anticipation I have for the day my mother moves out. I am sick and tired of this being-forced-to-choose-sides bit. I am a sit-on-the-sidelines type of girl, one to stay out of arguments; however, this tactic has not served me well. I know damn well that I could have nipped the situation in the bud early on had I taken a stand to both sides. But, alas, it was not meant to be and I have been forced to learn the hard way.

Tuesday and Halloween Fun

Yesterday, I met up with T at a friends house for Halloween. (Our friend is an adorable older lady who gets dressed up, does her house all nice, and generally loves giving out candy to the kids - even if it is the cheap stuff.) I made T some tea (cracks me up every time.) and she was surprised. In turn, she bought me some dinner, which was nice.

Sorry there's nothing more, but it's been an uneventful few days. I need to do something for tonight, maybe read her a sex story? It's been a while since I attemtped that, so hopefully it will go over well.

*****

On a more personal note, I am getting ANTSY. My Sag-side (I'm a Sag-Cap cusp) is coming out and making me want to be totally impractical, quit my job and go travel (No one else [T, the dogs, my mom, etc.] has been figured into this impracticality, which is why it's impractical!). This damn post, and, of course, it's precursor, has not been helping me!

I cannot stand being on the damn cusp, because I am always stuck between two sides. Hmm. Perhaps this is why I am bisexual.

I want to travel and I'm tired of being stuck in this hell-hole called S. Fla! (I'm thinking of putting up a PayPal donation button to ask for donations, much like the guys at school asking for beer money - Why is it that they got so much damn money?)

Oy! Y'all pray for me.

*****

Sunshine

This is only tangentally related to OKMG and only because it's slightly reverse OKMG.

I just ate an entire bag (thank god it was only the 99c bag) of Flaming Hot Lays and I think I have a new addiction! These things are delicious. T bought these for me the other day and I've been hording them until I really wanted them.

Yummy!

Weekend Recap

I couldn't leave it on a post like that, so let me tell you what I did for OKMG this weekend (and Monday).

Saturday: Well, that was pretty much a bust, considering what went down. I can't even think of anything that either of us did that would be associated with OKMG or Reverse OKMG. Man, I don't even remember what we did for dinner!

Sunday: Much better day. I made carrot cake muffins (OMG, way yummy) and homemade cream cheese icing (If life wasn't so good, I could have died and went to heaven...). We watched another movie, Sahara - no crying involved in this one. Leaving was sad, but, as much as I wanted to stay and spend the night, my paper called. I managed to sneak a card under her pillow, write on the mirror, and stick a note in the icing (plastic baggie).

She hung out at my place for a bit, because we had tentatively talked about me finishing up my work and going back over my place, but it was not to be. She also ended up writing me a note, which was very similar to what I had written her.

Monday: Nothing so much for yesterday. Mondays are bad for OKMG due to my class. I was going to stop by her place and say hello, but she had company. So I'll save that for another night!

Well, that's that!

Sunshine

What? It's over?

I gave up, y'all. Yep, I called the whole thing - OKMG, relationship and all, off!

Now that I have your attention, let me give you the details:

OK, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, the snafu about my pseudosingle post.

Well, tensions were still simmering on Saturday when T picked me up, even though we didn't talk about it. Sure, we ate, we drank, etc., but something was amiss. I can't describe it, but it was there.

We watched a movie, Imagine Me & You, very cute, BTW - except for the very, very sad, almost-ending. I don't want to give it away, although, you can figure out the premise anyway, so what the hell? So, near the end, when the guy and the girl are breaking up, the guy says to the girl (and I'm paraphrasing here), that he only wants to make her happy and he does not want to be the source of her unhappiness.

So, of course, I lost it. I mean, just ballin away.

And T's like, WTF, what's going on, why are you crying, etc. I told her that I only wanted to make her happy and if she was miserable, what was the point of staying together and OKMG and all?

Plus, I couldn't put up with always waiting for the other shoe to drop, that no matter what I did, it wasn't going to be enough, because if I made a mistake, big or small, I was in for it. It's too much pressure and I'll never be able to measure up - NEVER! Certainly, I realize that what I am doing now does not negate all the stuff that I didn't do in the past 6 years (her main point and concern), but it's a start in the right direction.

So, after much crying and hullabaloo (I just like that word), and talking back and forth, basically, I told her I needed to go home. I mean, I just laid it out there. Y'know, let me go if you're (T) not in this with me.

Well, that hit T pretty hard, because she realised that I was serious. That, yes, she has a right to stand up for herself and get the things she wants, but it's not going to happen over night with me and I am going to make mistakes.

So we talked a bit more and she told me that she wants to be with me...

We left it at me working harder at not making mistakes (*ahem* using the 's'-word), with her giving me some slack and realising that I am going to make mistakes and that it does not mean that I am not committed to OKMG, etc.

Oy, I have not cried as much in the entire span of our relationship as I have in this last month and a half.

Sunshine

*Update* Why am I not sleeping? Because it's 3 in the afternoon...

I slept over T's house last night, which should have been good, but things were tenuous. We had a few minor squabbles about silly stuff. She's PMSing, so I guess that's understandable, but still. It was nice to see her and cuddle, though.

She had a friend over last night and they ordered Chinese. T ordered extra just so I could have some food for lunch today. How nice was that?

I put up a little note on the mirror and snuck a sex-position card (stupid little card game we got a while back, but the cards are funny to look at) under her pillow.

T read my blog and wasn't too happy with my (pseudo)single post. I guess I could see where she was coming from - here I am supposed to be working on staying together and I'm posting about how happy I am being single (which was not what it was about). It was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek and a focus on the positives of the situation, but I think she took it the wrong way. We haven't fully talked about it yet. Hopefully, we'll sit on it for a few days until T is over her PMSing and we'll look at it rationally. If not, I'm sure we'll get through it.

***Update***

Well, there were three things "wrong" with my post:

1. Like Maidink and Diana (comments) said, never-ever use the word single if you're not. I should have title it something like - "Benefits of living alone."
2. Not a good idea to air out personal laundry, particularly when it's still fresh.
3. I should have been a lot clearer that the post was tongue in cheek and that I really preferred the alternatives. Even though they were in the comments, it was not enough.

T put these differently, but this is how I take it and will remeber in the future.

***End Update***

Sorry for the post being somewhat dry, but I am uninspired about OKMG today... I'm sure it has to do with the post issue from above and the fact that I am tired as hell...

Anyway, have a great weekend!

Sunshine

Tada! The Good Parts Review!

Dadadaaaaa. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (y'all shouldn't be reading this - go to your rooms!), what you've all been waiting for: My review of Sky's book, The Good Parts: Erotic Poetry for Women is finally here!

First, confession time, I didn't read the book in it's entirety (I skimmed everything, but this is poetry and it needs to be read). But, but, but - I didn't have to in order to give my review, because it's good, y'all. I mean, real good. I think the truest indicator is that every time I pick it up and read, I have a new favorite poem.

OK, let me give you some background: I originally found out about this book because my buddy, Sky, wrote it. Her nom de plume is S. Valentine King (not really a nom de plume, but I like that phrase; it sounds cool.). Previously, I hadn't actually read any of her poetry, even with her teasers on her Myspace site and blog (see below for links, but read the review first!). However, in the interest of OKMG, I asked Sky if she would let me read it and do a review and, since what writer will give up free advertising/pimpin', she agreed! I was also intrigued by the notion of erotic poetry.

I took a look-see. And, boy, am I glad that I did!

When I read a few poems to T, we both commented how Sky was a great writer and that she uses words well. There are a wide variety of poems ranging from the barely sexual to the hints of S&M to the in-your-face lovely visuals (she uses the word wet a lot). My current favs are: The Vagina Song, for its Vagina Monologues-inspiration; Do You Speak, for it's slam poetry feel; and, my absolute favorite, Go Softly into Me, for the way it makes me feel after I've read it.

I was surprised that the book on the whole wasn't more blatantly sexual. But I realized that erotic does not always equal in-your-face sex (that's called porn, folks). The Good Parts is more like a fine wine, designed to be sipped and savored slowly versus porn, which is more like beer and meant to be taken in big gulps.

Finally, a vignette from the author:

I write because I make a better poet than nun. I write to give words to others who lack them. I write to stimulate, to inspire. I write because I find beauty and wish to share it with others around me. I write so I will be heard. May my words open a loving dialogue between women positively enhancing their lives.

(To which I say: WORD!)

Well, that's all for now folks. Sky, I hope that I did your book justice with my review.

Now y'all have a job to do: First, go buy the book and share it with someone special. Second, go check out the author's Myspace site. Third, go check out her blog (updated with poems occasionally). Fourth, enjoy!

Sunshine

It's the Friday Sale, yo!

Woot! The Friday Sale is on, yo! Today is a special treat. I found two items that I couldn't pass up and they're both jewelry! And we all know jewelry is a great gift!

First, the Sterling Silver Heart Nugget T-Shirt Pendant, 16", because it's cute and it's my style. Plus, I really like silver.

Second, the 14k Yellow Gold Oval Link Bracelet, 7.5", because it's a great deal. The image shows the price at $59, but it's really $21 - which is an awesome price for a gold bracelet.

****
Update. It appears the price of $59 is correct. Oops!
****

Enjoy and happy shopping!

The perks of being (pseudo)single

While, on the whole, I'm not happy to be (pseudo)single, there are some perks and benefits. I list them here for your edification, in no particular order:

1. I can clean the place how ever I want (piece-meal) and no one can tell me it's wrong.
2. I get to bed earlier.
3. Even when I don't go to bed earlier, my time is usually more productive.
4. My showers are quicker (versus two-person, non-romantic showers).
5. There is less clutter over-all in the house.
6. No one tells me that I'm doing something wrong.
7. I'm spending more time with my gerbil (what? She's adorable!).
8. It's ok if things are a little bit dirtier than normal.
9. No one complains about my bodily noises and their associated smells (WHAT?)
10. I can sleep in the center of the bed.
11. I am not getting woken up by someone else's alarm when it's not time for me to get up.
12. No TV in the bedroom (cardinal sin in my book!).
13. I can put my decorations up.
14. Surprisingly, my room is less messy (although not necessarily cleaner).
15. No funky sprays (I hate sprays - perfume, cologne, room deordorizer, deodorant; to clarify, I like smells, but not sprays - bothers my nose)
16. I don't have to get out of bed to get something for someone else because they forgot.
17. All the stuff in the fridge is mine (excluding my mom's stuff).
18. I can make tuna the way I like it and not have to make another set for someone else.
19. I don't have to share.
20. Toilet paper lasts much longer.
21. The counter in the bathroom is not always wet.
22. No one harasses me for reading in the bathroom (what? it's my personal library and the last bastion of privacy).
23. I can use whatever towel I want to wipe my hands.
24. It's ok if I forget to close the shower curtain.
25. It's warmer when I sleep.
26. I can sleep with the fan on.
27. I can listen to whatever music I want.
28. There are only 4 boxes of cereal on top of the fridge instead of 10-12 (really!).
29. I can ignore my mom's shortcomings if I choose to (remember, she lives with me).
30. I can do what I want.

Of course, I would rather be coupled and not (pseudo)single and, yes, the alternative is better. But the perks, temporary as they are, can be nice.

Feel free to add to the list y'all!

Sunshine

Heeeeeeeeeeere's OKMG

(Yes, I know, the title's bad, but that makes it funny.)

I've been pretty busy, but let me give an update of the last few days.

Sunday:

I forgot to tell you that, in anticipation of leaving, I left a bunch of heart sticky notes all around T's room and few elsewhere in the house. She kept getting surprised and would go, "Aw, that's cute." I also wrote a card and put it under her pillow. She hasn't found all of the stickies yet, so I'm waiting for the rest of them.

Monday:

Not much to say, except that I slept over. For reverse OKMG, T made me dinner and had some wine (pinot noir) set out for me (I'm such a lush!).

Sleeping over was pretty nice, even though I didn't get much sleep. It's just nice to cuddle and be together again. She also told me that she's going to work and give it 110%. She had already made that decision, before our great Saturday evening, but it was just reinforced.

Tuesday:

T dropped me off at work, which was kind of sad, because we're not going to see each other until Saturday. She ended up stopping by my house and she left a note under my pillow, telling me how much she loved me, what a great time she had this weekend, and how happy she is that we are working on things.

Wednesday:

Wee! She's coming to meet me for lunch!

Sunshine

Shout out to everyone stopping by from Maidink's blog, Life, family, et al!

Welcome, come in, kick off your shoes, make yourself comfy, leave a comment or three, and have a great time!

For some history of OKMG, check out my sidebar under what is this? Or, you could read my blog and figure it out...

Whatever you do, enjoy!

Sunshine

Zippity do da, Zippity yay, My oh my, what a wonderful day!

Y'all, this weekend was great! It was superfantabulous! We really, really, really needed this.

The feelings that happened this weekend are hard to write out, so excuse the hesitancy and choppiness in my words...

T was a little late in picking me up (this wasn't good because all it did was feed into my fears that T was going to stand me up or something). Things were a little awkward when she came and got me, actually, they were awkward until we got back to her house. Shortly after we got to her place, I grabbed her and hugged her on the bed. I think we hugged for 30 minutes. I was sad-happy, happy, and filled-with-jubilation-happy. I told T that I was soooo happy to see her and how I had missed her so much. She was genuinely shocked to hear me say all that stuff because I don't normally talk that way. But I was! I was filled with all these emotions, jumbled all together. When we were laying there, I alternated from being sad and crying to super happy and bouncy. It felt so good to be in her arms. I can't accurately describe the feeling - just to say that when I tell T that home is in her arms, in that moment, it was truer than it had ever been.

I told her that I had/have been filled with anxieties and uncertainties and that after being in her arms, I was good for at least a few days. She told me that, for the most part, my fears were unfounded(!), which made me feels much better. Yes, we still have stuff to work on, but at least I know that she's not going to jump ship at any moment.

So, for a quick recap:

We got home and talked for a bit. Then we ate dinner and watched a movie (the bridge of San Louis Rey or something with Bobbie D - weird). We talked some more, we cuddled, we watched another movie (what?) and well, you know... We slept. We woke up. I cooked breakfast (pancakes - regular and chocolate chip). We watched another movie (Xmen 3 - Hugh Jackman as Wolverine is dreamy...).

Before breakfast, I recommitted myself to OKMG. I also told her that I'm not doing this just for her, I'm doing this for me as well. This is a learning process for me. I'm learning to put myself out there and that I can give myself (though not everything) and it's ok and I won't get shot down (as is my history). It's ok to put myself out there, etc., etc. (I'm prob gonna write a whole post on that, but y'all get the idea.)

While we were eating and watching X-men, T told me that we are going to make it though this and make it work. I got all mushy because that's the first time she said that throughout this entire time, OKMG and all. She recognizes that I have been making an effort and really trying to make her feel special, which is what she wanted all along. Sure, we have some stuff to work on, but we'll get through it. I jumped up and down (literally) and started hootin' and hollerin'!

Later, it was time to get ready and go, which neither of us wanted, but we had to. I had left my school work at home because it needed to be finished and I didn't want to be tempted. T had some car trouble so she had to hang out at my place for a bit (we all know how long AAA takes...). While she was waiting, she started to not feel well and needed some SLC (Sunshine's loving care). I ended up finishing my homework mostly, so we went back to T's place and I took care of her (hehe). And now I'm at work with her car and I'm spending the night tonight also!

So, to recap my recap, we really needed this weekend. I think that if it had not gone well, we would have thrown in the towel. But it went well and things are great!

I hope all of that made sense. I know it's a long post, but there's a lot of stuff that went on.

Sunshine

PS I updated my 4:30 AM post.

OKMG randomness

Three things:

First - Sky, that review is coming, I promise. Look for it later this week. I have been steadfastly reading my printout and everytime I read further, I have new favorites. So the review is coming...

Second - My previous post was my 100th post and my traffic is now above 1,000. How cool is that?

Third - Much thanks to Claire & Lara, of Tripping on Words fame for their awesome write-up on their other charity(?) blog, hatetohelp. Please go check it out and check out their blog, with it's amazing premise.

Come together, right now...

I am anxiously awaiting tonight (previous post notwithstanding). I've been looking forward to it all week. No interuptions, no phone calls, no friends, no family, no nothing!

We don't have anything planned, but that's intentional. We are just going to spend some time together, lay around in bed, watch some movies, cuddle, sleep, eat, etc. For a while now, every time we've been together, we've had something to do and it gets in the way of us spending time together. I'm sure that in the coming weekends, we'll be a bit more structured, have plans to do something. But not this weekend.

I'm almost prepared. I shaved and trimmed last night. I'm all glittery with my fav lotion (Body Shop cranberry shimmer - the best ever!), which T likes, too. I have my kit together (in a huge shoebox). I don't have my overnight bag together just yet, but I have a few things for T already. Massage lotion, the perfume she likes me to wear (the bubblebath and sponge are already at her house), Sky's poetry, and my sex book. So, hopefully it will be all good.

Dear, it's 4:30 in the morning, what do you want me to say?

Not sure how this weekend is going to go, I'm looking forward to it, but we had a small issue last night.

T called me at 4:30 AM (I know!) and, when I said I was wondering why she was calling me at 4:30 in the morning, she got all mad at me. Here's the story:

T was supposed to go out to the local Drag show, but she took a nap from about 8PM. She was going to call me when she was getting ready or on her way out. I never heard from her. I just figured she never woke from her nap since she was really tired. So, when I finally went to bed around 1, I just texted her goodnight and such, because I didn't want to wake her up. I actually texted her at 12:30, to allow some time in case she was up and she just forgot to call (not very likely). Well, then she called at 4:30. I tried to explain it out (what I said), but unfortunately, my wittiness is not so good anyway, and at 4:30AM, when I've been woken up, it's crap.

This leads me to think two things. First, she was just plain upset because she called and wanted to talk to me and maybe she thought I would be super happy to talk to her (I was, but I was also asleep). Second, and more insidiouslly, she was out, forgot to call me, and got mad at me to cover it up so I couldn't ask her if she went out. I really don't believe that it's the second, I promise, but the first one seems so improbable. I don't get it. Why be mad at someone when you wake them up? (she did say that we always talk about calling the other one, no matter what time it is. If that's true, than give me some time to wake up and be coherent...)

Anyway, I hope this doesn't impact our weekend. We didn't get off the phone too nicely, but we are also good at moving past things like this.

I'll keep you posted!

*****************
~~~~~Update~~~~~

Well, it seems that there was some misunderstanding on both of our parts. To start off with, T thought that I was going to call her when I was done with my writing and I thought we had agreed that T would call me when she was getting ready and/or on her way out. T did end up going out and she was just calling me to talk to me. Anyway, we worked it out and everything's good.

Sunshine

OKMG Tips - Thanks!

From Valerian:

"Romance is really about what you *do* within 'the moment' and about making each and every moment special."

Surprise T with a music compilation, She suggested with an mp3 phone, but I can do a cd.

The first tip is right on. I made a cd already.

From Feisty Red:

Have a picnic, under the stars if possible.

Find what she likes and do variations, ex. "a huge black and white photo blow up of a single rose."

Send an e-card.

Create a memory jar, decorate it all pretty, fill it with notes/pieces of paper that have our memories written on them.

Put a note on the dogs' collars.

"Buy her some cute undies (boxers in my case) and stick them in her drawer with a note as a surprise."

All of these are great ideas. T doesn't check her e-mail that much, so that's a no-go. Also, the dogs don't wear collars. I love the idea of a memory jar, but it seems like it will be time-intensive, so not something I can do right away. It seems like a great X-mas gift, though. The undies/boxers idea is cute also.


From H:

Write little love notes on the mirror with a dry erase marker (or lipstick).

Write notes in general.

Leave notes in luggage (or in my case, the lunch box).

I have done the mirror thing. I put a dry erase marker in my bag and I think I'll put it in my kit so I always have it on hand. I did the note in the lunch box once, but she doesn't take lunch often. So I may have to put notes elsewhere in her food.

From di:

Actually tell T how I feel.

Keep a balance between "standard" romantic stuff and things that are romantic to T and I only and that are especially for her.

I have been trying to do both of these things.

From Valentine:

(Suggestive) notes in the underwear drawer.

Do a treasure hunt with notes.

Have an indoors picnic by dimming the lights and lighting candles, etc.

Write a poem about her or read poetry to her.

Ask her out on a date and take her somewhere we don't normally go, bring her flowers when I do this.

Play a game with her, possibly with the fortune foldy origami thingy we used to play with when we were kids.

Make a collage of some of my favorite things we have done. Tell a story with it.

"go out to a bar or club. pretend that you don't know each other. get to know each other again."

So far, I've read a poem to her. But, these are great ideas and I was reminded of a few of them when I was making this post, so some of these are going in the queue for OKMG.

Thanks everyone for their help. Please keep adding tips and I'm going to keep this post updated.

OKMG or bust!

Well, no OKMG yesterday. I had at least one thing tentatively planned for yesterday evening - I was going to read an erotic short story and have phone sex (what?), but notice the "tentative" nature. T ended up having plans, so it was a no go. I was going to do something else to surprise her, but it ended up being too late by the time I finished my homework. I would give y'all the deets, but I plan on actually surprising her with this at some point, so I'll let you know when I do it.

On the flip-side, this just shows me that I need to be more proactive with OKMG. I really should be sending out letters and texts and such, so that if something falls through, I'm covered and I did at least one thing for her. I, unfortunately, can't afford any lapse in OKMG right now. So, I need to strategize things.

As such, I am putting together a kit of things I had in the room: notecards, heart stickies, heart-glitter confetti (that annoying stuff that is soooo cool to put in cards), origami paper, valentine's cards, stickers, envelopes, etc. I just need a cute carrying-case/folder and some heart stamps and I'll be good to go. This allows me to keep everything together and in one place, which makes it easier for me. It's also good, because I can take it to work and put together letters/packages there.

Sunshine

OKMG - Related - Friday Sale!

It's Friday again and Amazon's Friday Sale is on! I chose this necklace, not because I like the style (because I don't), but because it was inexpensive and pretty. There are some prodct recommendations on this page that I actually do like, but they're not as inexpensive (although, not outrageous either). I had considered putting the 14k Yellow Gold Round Diamond 4-Prong Solitaire Pendant (1ct , I-J, I1), on sale for $1299 (a savings of $2825), but I thought it a bit much.

Enjoy!

Sunshine

Ode to the Lesbian brotherhood...

OKMG is going to be rewarding; actually, it is rewarding. I'm learning new things - ones that I never knew that I could do. I'm treating my baby the ways she deserves to be treated. But, it's also frustrating - really frustrating.

This is a growing process - for the both of us, I know. Never before have I put my heart out on the line and I'll be damned if it isn't getting kicked around (OK, maybe just nudged not-too-nicely). The longer I do OKMG (It's been almost a month, if you can believe that) the less and less sure of success I am. Not because of T and I, we are fairly sure that we're going to make it. But because of our friends words to T. They make her think and I don't want her to think!

To clarify, they all, save one, put it to her as to why is she doing this? Why is she waiting the 3 months? It's not going to work out. They point out to her that we've been down this road (although, not so far) before and what is really going to change? Why can't she wake up and see? And it makes me quake down to the very core of my being.

I know that our/her friends only have their best intentions toward T; only one or two may have their own agenda. They mean me no harm or malice. Really, I know this. And, honestly, were this situation happening to someone else, I would probably tell them to do the same thing. Get the hell outta dodge and make it quick. Matter of fact, I have done it before. And, wouldn't you know it, they ignored me and those friends of mine are still together, working through their problems and doing well.

Who was I to get in their business (we're still friends)? I didn't know the intimate details of their relationship. I didn't know their committment and love to each other. Just as people do not know ours.

I also know that if T is thinking those things, than I can't stop her. And maybe that's how it's supposed to be. But, T's not, for the most part, thinking to move on. Rather, I should say, she's committed to working things out. Our friends should respect that. Perhaps it's because they don't get what we're doing: WTF are you doing? You've moved out and y'all are still trying to work on it? Weird, man.

Our friends are not in our relationship and they need to understand that. They don't need to understand what we are doing, but they need to respect it.

I really love T. I really want to make it work more than ever. I'm committed to this, we are committed to this. That's what should be important.

Sunshine

PS This isn't meant to be a diatribe (I just wanted to use a big word.) to our friends. I love all of y'all and I know you love me!

Tea for one

Yesterday, we ate lunch together (I scored free sushi from the sushi guy - OMG, delish!). I met T over at the library (door-to-door service) and I had a mug of tea for her, just the way she likes it. I paid for her lunch (well, I gave her money). It's nice to see her when it's unexpected.

T did some Reverse-OKMG yesterday. She brought the dogs over to my house, which was nice and saved me some trouble. But, more importantly, she put a bunch of sticky heart notes in my bathroom and near my bed. (Sorry, no pics, I'm not the one with the camera phone.) It's cool when she does reverse OKMG, specially* now that I'm appreciating it far more than I did before. Every thing, little or granduesque (it's not a word, but it should be), is a confirmation that we are working through things and making it work.

We didn't get a chance to hang out last night, like we had planned. We were supposed to go to a wine-tasting. But there was some confusion between T, my mom, and I. (I really need to work on the snippy, resentful relationship that is developing between the two of them.)

Sunshine

*Don't you love how I can say loquacious in one post and specially and y'all in another? Truest form of intelligence, y'all.

Alliterative alliterations

Yesterday, unfortunately, did not go as planned. The candles were lit and the evening progressed to an agreeable ending, but Sky's beautiful poetry (really, it's good stuff) was not read, the wine was not drank (drunk?), and the connection was not made.

I have a long, loud, loquacious (What? I was going for the alliterative...) rant, but I'm not going to put it here. I will say this, though:

RANT

OK, well now that that's over, moving on, sort of...

We talked about it a bit this morning and that did not go over well, at all. Without going into details, I just, uh, arrgh! It just sucks when two people (me and T) want the same thing but it ends up working out differently and we come out with two completely different perspectives.

Baby, I'm sorry! We'll work it out! (She's reading today!)

This is just another case of us putting other people/things first. Now, it's a Wednesday, so it's understandable (somewhat). But for Saturday, we have agreed no phones, no interuptions, no nothing!

I tried to do the marker on the mirror-thing and the marker was dry! But, it just went along with the morning and, obviously, I wasn't supposed to leave a note on the mirror. It might not have been taken to its fullest meaning...

We did leave it on a positive note, though. She drove me to work. She's on campus - I gave her my staff parking tag(!) and some money for snacks - and we are going to do lunch.

Life is not a destination, but a journey.

(Can I tell you that I had to write that a bunch of times, because I kept switching it around. Is that indicative of my situation or what? This is a process that I need to go through and the finale will be what it is...)

Sunshine

OKMG - Related - Musicbox

OK, this is so cool. It's a music box that plays voice-recordings. Basically, people call in to an 800 number and leave messages. Someone in charge picks the best recordings (important if you have 100 people calling and leaving messages). Then the company, VoiceQuilt, puts it all together; they create a playlist and put it in a music box that you pick. Obviously, this is great for a wedding *ahem*, but it will also work for an anniversary or milestone b-day (hello, I'm gonna be 30 soon...eep!).

Anyway, as it relates to OKMG (I always bring it back, yo!), this would be really cute for T as a surprise for her b-day or Christmas or something (Hello - 6 year Anniversary!). Hmm, when T and I make it through this and OKMG is a success, this would be great for song clips and little sweet somethings (versus nothings). She loves it when I do stuff that is a surprise and that makes her mushy...

I would have put a pick up to show you, but I couldn't find a small enough one. Check the website for the demo.

Sunshine

Foreshadowing...

SKY! I mean VALENTINE!

Where in the hell is my book? It's frustrating to keep printing out copies for me to read to my honey! Augh! Good stuff, though. I'm reading the book (word document?) more in depth (vs. the quick first glance I gave it) and I really like the poems. But wait, this is not a review, just a demand!

I want my book!

Loves!

(Really, I'm just being demanding for a free, signed copy. But it is frustrating, too.)

************
~ Originally posted 10/13.

Just wanted to let y'all know to expect a review of Valentine's book or at least most of it in the next week or so!

And just because I love shameless plugs, here's another link to Amazon for the book.

Toodles!

Sunshine

Can we be naughty tonight?

Knew that title would grab you!

I asked T if I could sleep over tonight. If she lets me, I'll be armed with Valentine's book, The Good Parts: Erotic Poetry for Women (you know, for reviewing purposes) and we'll be gold.

Don't come a knockin' if the room's a rockin'!*

Sunshine

Weekend Recap

Well, it's not exactly a weekend recap, since I posted on Saturday and it's already Tuesday. So we'll call it the "SunMon recap" with a little bit of Saturday thrown in.

Saturday:

T and I worked through our issue somewhat. Things are still tenuous, but we know that we want to continue to work on things. We ended up having a HUGE fight where I was crying and she was mad - I actually hung up on her! Of course I called her right back to apologize. I ended up driving to her place so we could talk about things. We initially left it very ambiguously where we were going to take some time to "think it over", which as you know is never very good. But after I got back to my house (actually, just outside my house), we were talking on the phone and she asked me to come back. I think she needed that to see what it would really be like without me or at least leaving it on a final note - if that makes sense.

For OKMG, I made her some cream of wheat. I also got a trial subscription (2 weeks) to Netflix so that we can blitz out a bunch of movies that we haven't seen. I got it specifically so that we could watch movies that she wanted to see, because when we go to the movies, it's usually about what I want to watch.

Sunday:

We had a bunch of things to do, so, even though we spent much of the day in each other's presence, we didn't spend any time together. This is something we are realizing that we both need to work on. We are continuosly in the habit of placing other things in priority of us and our relationship and we always suffer because of it.

This weekend was a good trial run because it showed us that we have to be serious about this. So next weekend, the phones are getting shut off. We're not talking to anybody, not my mom, not her roommate, not her friends with crises, not our family friends who want to treat us to dinner - NOBODY.

For OKMG, I woke her up very nicely (yup!), although, it was after much prodding on her part throughout the morning. Man, when I'm asleep, nothing - NOTHING - can wake me up. Lord, I am so difficult.

Monday:

Wee! We had court and it was successful! (Check out the backstory here.)

We were trying to coordinate me sleeping over, but it didn't work out. I phoned her to let her know that I loved her so much and that I am glad we are working on things,etc. etc.

Sunshine

This is why I do OKMG...

Troubled waters...

Well, OKMG took a(nother) hit today. Normally, I don't write in detail what happens when we fight - I try to keep the blog chipper and happy and romantic and full of hope - but today, I think I will write about what happened.

First things first: I want to open this to discussion. Please try to have an open mind about the situation; there is a large back story to this. I really would like some constructive and objective criticism/advice/help.

Onward ho...

Tonight T and I were supposed to spend our first planned OKMG night together. I have busted my ass to make sure that my paper was done so that I wouldn't be toiling away instead of spending time with her (Seriously, I was up late Thurs and Fri night writing.).

We're (my mom and I) doing a bed switcheroo at our house (my mom lives with me) where we are returning the beds that have been on loan to their original owner and getting new beds from a benevolent friend. My mom has been trying to coordinate this for a few weeks, but she finally settles for Sunday (tomorrow). She will be picking up the beds with a friend and their truck. She told me this on Thursday, but I've had a general idea for a week or so. She asked me to be at the house on Sunday morning to coordinate the switch.

Automatically, I have a dilemma.

I informed mom of my plans with T. She tells me that she can't do it without my help.

Herein lies the problem: my mom is a fully capable 50 yo woman who insists that she can not do anything on her own. (For the purposes of disclosure, she has had severe mental and emotional setbacks in the last year that have reinforced this notion.). So, I know that she should be able to coordinate the switch, but I agreed to help her anyway. I have been sloooowly trying to nudge her to do things for herself, but I may still be enabling her. I know this.

Basically, this is how it would have gone down. I would have spent the night over T's house tonight and we would have had our time together, but I would have had to get up early to go backover to my house to help my mom. This probably would have taken about 4 hours.

So again, I agreed to help mom out - on the morning that T and I were supposed to spend together.

I inform T of this and it does not go over well at all. The short version is that T is tired of not being a priority in my life and having to deal with the fact that I can't stand up to my mother with her having to face the consequences.

I understand T's position. To her, it's not about the 4 hours that would have been taken out of our time together; it's about the fact that this is our time together that we agreed on and I shouldn't be taking the time to help my mom when she doesn't need the help, particularly when she has a friend who is helping her.

Here's my position:

I agreed to help my mom. Yes, I should have said no. Yes, my mom should be able to do things on her own without my help. However, I choose to pick my battles. My bigger concern is getting my mom a job and out of my house. Perhaps, though, the little things add up and reinforce the bigger picture, no? Additionally, I don't like to be in the middle or made to choose between mom or T and I think that's what T is doing (again, realizing that there is a larger back story involved and this is not the only incident where this has happened).

I contend that I should still spend the night over T's and help my mom tomorrow. Unfortunately, T does not agree and I'm to call her after I'm done tomorrow.

This will have further ramifications on OKMG, particularly with our future plans together. T feels I have not placed a priority on our time and, as such, she may not place priority on our time together in the future.

Thoughts?

Quick update - CD

Quick update before I log off and get to writing...

I gave her the cd and it was a hit, albeit sad. I patterned to songs to tell the story of our relationship (We were having fun, we fell in love, we fought, we're working through, things are gonna be all right.). I'd put up the track list, but I don't think T wants me to. Most of the songs are "our" songs, but I included a few new ones and repurposed a few old ones.

I bet I made her cry. I did good y'all (not the crying part, but actually putting a cd together and evoking emotion because of it.).

Have a great weekend!

Sunshine

To sleep perchance to dream

It's 1:30 AM on Fri night / Sat morning and what am I doing?

First, let me tell you what I'm not doing. I'm not out hanging with my peeps - I haven't been dancing in forever. I'm not sleeping. And I'm not spending time with T.

What I am doing is typing my paper (OK, so not at this exact moment, but you get the idea). Why am I doing this when I could, at the very least, be sleeping? Because I promised T that I would have my paper done by tomorrow evening so that we could spend time together, without the pressure of my paper. Because I love her and this is important to her and for us.

Am I tired? Oh yeah. Am I gonna make it? Not so sure... No, scratch that, I know that I'll make it, but will I be awake when I'm done?

Sunshine

*I have no idea if the quote in my title is correct, but I think y'all get the idea. I'm dog-ass tired. And my bed is compfy, if a little small yet overspacious. That's the idea.

OKMG - Engagement Rings...

I know that OKMG is not fully completed, but if I keep it up, it's gonna be a huge success. And, as such, I think it may be time to make a real woman out of T (or however that stupid saying goes) and get hitched. T asked me 10 months into our relationship. Yup, she got down on one knee, engagement ring and all, and professed her love for me. Folks, that was 5 years ago yesterday! For a variety of reasons, we've never had a ceremony. With the way things have worked out, T told me that we are not getting married until I ask her, down on one knee, ring and all.

Because of this, I was surfing the net (I know it deosn't seem like it, but I do work, sometimes.) looking at rings and such. T got me a white gold ring with rubies and baby diamonds in it. But, unfortunately, the silver plating has worn off and now I have a gold ring, which I can't stand - not the ring, but the gold. I want to get platinum, but that can be expensive. This website has a selection of palladium jewelry. It looks like platinum, but is much less expensive. Check the site out, they have a bunch of engagement rings to look at.

Sunshine

Erotic stories...

Last night was the first night sleeping alone and I wanted to do something different. So, I read T a selection from Best Of Best Lesbian Erotica 2. I used to do this when I lived in NYC for a few months last year (although we did plan a little bit more, if you know what I mean...). I actually surprised her with it this time. I kept telling her I had something I wanted to read to her and then we finally settled in bed and BAM! out comes erotica...

I have a few surprises for her this weekend:

1. I made her a cd of our songs. T's made me 2 or 3 cds and I haven't made her one, so it's long overdue. It's all very lovey-dovey and romantic.

2. I am sending her a note by mail. For real, I have a stamped envelope in my hand, as we speak!

3. I also got her a gift card to her fav coffee place. I'm actually not a fan, but either we can go, or she can go with a buddy. Just a little something to let her know that I care. (I got it through Mypoints . Let me know if you want to join and I'll give you my e-mail address. We both get bonus points. That's great, I'm so cheap!)

Anyway, moving on to the task at hand...

*****
Reverse OKMG:

T put a bunch of notes around my room for me to find throughout the night. My favorite was the note on the toothpaste. Thanks babe!

She has actually done a bunch of stuff for me, but the focus of the blog is on ME! (plus, I can't remember everything anyway. Which, I'm sure is bad for OKMG...)

Sunshine

OKMG - Related - Friday Sale

Today is Friday and Amazon's Friday Sale is on! There wasn't anything "romantic" today (Well, there was, but $500 for jewelry, on sale? I don't think so!), so I had to stretch it. So I picked these Duracell CP1 Lithium Prismatic Digital Camera Batteries (Pack of 2) for your digital camera. Use them to keep your camera going when you're taking naughty pictures or videos. (Betcha didn't think I could make the connection to OKMG, didya'?)

Enjoy!

Sunshine

OKMG – Related - Snapfish Memory book...?

I don’t want to rely on the same ideas/tricks to execute OKMG, so I’m trying to keep my ideas fresh. (This also allows me to use the tried and true ones when I have no other option!)

I was thinking about some stuff to do and I remembered that T has asked me several times to make her a memory book or a calendar out of some of my favorite photos and, true to form, I’ve never done it. I noticed that Snapfish has 2-for-1 memory books (You can also save $5 off a $15 order - click here for Snapfish coupons.). I’m not so familiar with online photo sites, so I don’t know what it would involve.

Plus, I’m concerned that it would take up a bunch of time and we know that’s something I don’t have. But, maybe because it's online, it won't take that long. I think this is something to put in queue to do when I have some more time – Oooh! Can we say Christmas or Chanukah? (No school!) Hello, I am so smart!

Sunshine

PS I found the coupon on this coupons site. There's a bunch of other coupons on there as well. Check it out, yo!

Minor Maneuvering

OKMG was on the scant side yesterday. But here's the update.

I decided to spend the night over T's house last night. She made me dinner, which was a feat in and of itself because she only had a mish mosh of food to throw together. She was really sad at the prospect of being apart for 3 months; I told her not to focus on that, to look at each day or each week only and it will make it go by quicker. I think I made her feel better. Unfortunately, we didn't spend much time together awake, but we did cuddle all night! I also woke her up nicely (that's important with her), so much so that she called me up just nw and thanked me!

I'm bummed because I didn't write her a note for her to read later. I didn't think I had paper, but T pointed out my bookbag with all the paper in there... Well, next time, I'll be more prepared with lipstick or dry erase markers.

I must admit that I'm sad, too. I'm worried that I won't be able to execute OKMG properly when I'm not living there... but I know that this will get better and I'll do fine!

Loves!

Sunshine

OKMG - A success?

Well, quite a few things have gone on since Monday (sorry for not posting yesterday, I was computerless). Let's see if I can remember.

Monday: T picked me up from work. It was so cute, she brought me a little surprise - Dunkin Donuts coffee cake muffins. We drove over to her new place and she had already made some serious improvements in just one day. Even her bedroom was all set up. I made her some cream of wheat - in the microwave, mind you, with no measuring utensils of any kind (I'm a measurer, I NEED my measuring cups, spoons, etc. for some things!). Dude, it took forever. I was asking myself why the hell I was cooking cereal at midnight when I had sooo many other things I could be doing - sleep being the main thing - because I love her, that's why. I even made her a bunch extra and pack them in containers so that she would have them throughout the week, since she won't make it herself. I helped set up some more things like dishes and food. I also found stuff for her (She is one of those people who can't find ANYthing without help). We had a court appointment (long story) so we were up late preparing for it. Well actually, I was up late since T PASSED out - mind you, I was on 3 hours of sleep from the night before! When she was sleeping, I put some socks on her; she let out a little contented sigh, which was adorable.

Tuesday: Court was a bust (it's extremely important to get the correct day to go to court, so back next week - whew!). We did some running around. When we went to go eat for breakfast, I got the chair for her and she didn't understand. She was like, what, is there something wrong with the chair? When I told her I got the chair for her, she got this funny look on her face. Throughout the day, I told her that she looked cute and thinner (she's been losing weight, so this is good). Later we went back to my place to pick up the kids. We ended up staying for a while. I made her 2 cups of tea - delish if I do say so myself. And, and, and - she asked me to spend the night over again - wee! Funny enough, though, we actually crashed at my place for several hours (I was working on 6 hours of sleep for two days!) We took the kids back over to her place and got settled. When we were getting ready for bed, she asked me to spend the night again on Wednesday since we haven't spent any time together not doing anything (I'm not sure yet, I have a boatload of school work and with preparing for court next week...).

Later, she asked me to move in with her - only half-jokingly! I told her it was too soon, OKMGs only been going on for a few weeks, so what has really changed. There's still things we both need to work on and we need the impetus of separation to keep working at it. But, hey OKMG's a rip-roaring success so far!

Get it here

That's all I can think of so far!

Sunshine!

OKMG - Fireplace DVD

I was surfing around the internet today, y'know when I should have been writing my paper, and I came across this website about a video/dvd fireplace: Ambient Fire Video Fireplace DVD. It's neat because it has several different fireplace types to look at; there's a preview on the website, check it out and you'll see what I mean.

I am constantly on the look-out for OKMG-related items and I think this fits the bill. Two reasons: 1. I live in South FL and it does not get cold enough during the two days of winter to put up a fire (not that any of us have fireplaces anyway) and 2. it's a cool way to be romantic and snuggle up to a fire without actually getting hot (remember, I'm in Fla) or doing any work (remember, I'm lazy). I would, of course, include all the usual items like wine, soft music, and maybe some readings of poetry.

Sunshine

OKMG - Weekend Recap

With the move this weekend, I was not expecting to have any OKMG news to report back on, but surprisingly, I actually do!

Friday - Though it was only Friday, so much stuff has gone on, that I don't remember exactly what I did. I know that I made T some tea and I think I made her some sort of food, possibly cream of wheat. After a little bit of tension, most of the evening was spent packing (even though I needed to study).

Saturday - I got up and made her tea and cream of wheat for breakfast. We spent ALL day packing and moving. We were very lovey-dovey all day, which was a little bittersweet. For some serious OKMG, late Sat night, after we were *mostly* done packing, I took her outside, under the full moon (OMG, did you see it last night?!?!), and told her we would always be connected. All we need to do is step outside and look at the sky, day or night and we will be linked - ALWAYS! (Is that great or what? I came up with that all by myself, too!)

We also, somewhat, worked out a schedule for when we'll seee each other and talked about some things that I'm going to do for OKMG.

Sunday - I dropped her off at work, but she realized that she had forgotten something at home, so I went got it and brought it back to her (not cuz she asked, mind you...). She had a few setbacks lately with work and health and they were particularly weighing on her Sunday. I have always been super supportive of her (one of my positives that helps outweigh my negatives), so I let her know again that I was there for her. I bolstered her up and made her feel better.

Now comes the interesting part. She's moved out and things are going to get harder, but that just means I'm going to have to get creative!

******************

On Sat., one of T's friends who reads the blog (Hey Sara!) told me that she enjoys reading my blog because it lets her know that other people are worse off than her - LOL Good to know that I can help you out there, Sara! Later, she said that my eternal optimism is inspiring (or something to that effect). It's always nice to hear that stuff, so thanks!

Sunshine

OKMG 16 - Poetry, it's erotic!

Last night, I read T an erotic poem from my buddy Valentine's book (Review coming, but if y'all bought it, you wouldn't have to wait and you, too could have access to this wonderful poetry.). Actually, it was mildly erotic, but we also weren't going for a big finale. I just wanted to read it to her. I did set the mood, though, a bit. I lit some candles and we got into bed. I think that next time, since erotic poetry is different than erotic short stories or porn, I'm going to have to do more to create a mood. I'm thinking wine, soft music, candles, maybe a bubble bath, apples and honey/strawberries and whipped cream - you get the idea.

In a sad and frustrating bit of reverse OKMG, T wrote me this fabulous erotic poem (Valentine, you inspired her!) and texted it to me. Well, in my zealousness to tell her that I got it, I only glanced at it cursorly (sp?). (Note to self - you should know better - Fuckhead!) She asked me what my favorite part was and I couldn't pick one, so I suggested something that wasn't in the poem, it was supposed to be sort-of jokey, but it didn't come out that way, so she got mad at me. Two lessons for us: 1 I should know better than to read or look at anything that she gives me cursorly because I KNOW she is always going to ask what part is my favorite. 2. T should know better to ask that question because I never answer it the way that she wants and she always gets mad at me. (Damage control in full effect and successful, so far.)

*sigh*

Oh, I forgot to mention reverse OKMG for Wednesday. T got me a cute rainbow necklace, which is sparkly!

Sunshine

Friday Sale

Today is Friday and Amazon's Friday Sale is on! My pick are these 800 thread count cotton (sateen) sheets. For some reason the image is not coming up, so I saved the photo, but click on the 'x' for the product.

I shouldn't have to explain the benefit to OKMG with these sheets *wink, wink* and I won't! So enjoy!

Sunshine

Layout/template issues?

OK, I think I've got it! - Thanks Dena! However, I don't have access to Mozilla Firefox just yet. Let me know if there's been a difference.

Sun.

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~10/4

A few people have mentioned that I'm having layout or template issues. When I look at my page, it looks fine. Can y'all let me know exactly what's up with it and I'll try to fix it.

Much appreciated!

Sunshine

OKMG 15 - Love potion #9

This post relates to Love Potion #9 in no way, shape, or form, but I liked it, so there! LOL

Last night, I was going to give her a massage, but I went for horizontal *ahem* action instead. T doesn't think that counts, but I do (versus the other day when I didn't think it counted). Naturally, she liked it and was very happy! (So, if it counts, than I'm good for yesterday, but if it doesn't, than I didn't do anything and that sucks.)

This morning, I wrote her a note. While it doesn't seem like much, I rarely write her a note and I never write her one in the morning. She called me up all happy, so I did good!

Sunshine

Tips needed for long distance OKMG

Want to remind everyone to give some tips for long distant romance, since that's essentially what we're doing. I'm not going to see her but one night a week, unless I surprise her (which I plan to do, but not often). Here's some of the things I was thinking about:

1. Sending her cards and letters - with origami, of course.

2. I would like to be able to drop off a flower or something at her door, but I know that I won't be able to do that too often.

3. Reading her erotic poems over the phone for some phone, um, action.
***Insert shameless plug here*** Check out my friend Valentine's book of erotic poetry on the left. Valentine, how's that review idea sounding?

4. ?????

Now, for when I see her, I have some things planned:

1. Cooking her dinner.

2. Giving her a bubble bath.

3. Planning a special in-home movie night (No, not that type of movie, although that will prob happen, too!). You know, make the popcorn, having a movie that she has really wanted to see, etc.

4. I have some other ideas, but I don't want to go into too much detail, but I like Valetine's idea of going to a club/bar and getting to know each other again.

OK, now I need some more ideas...

Sunshine

OKMG 14 - Origami sucks!

Ok, so not really, but some of it is damn hard. Yesterday, T had to come pick me up from work and it was WAY out of her way. I wanted to make her an origami angel so I had to find a good diagram/set of instructions online (Note: I'm good at origami, but only with a good set of instructions. I don't do it enough to memorize and for new ones I need instructions.). So, I get my instructions and those things were dayum hard! Hence, no angel... But, but, but I tried, so that counts.

T took me out to dinner last night - Mexican, if you were wondering. T's been doing a lot of reverse OKMG things lately, so I need to step up my game a bit. After dinner, she had to attend to some things for her new apt [:-(] and I went home. I knew I wasn't going be awake to see her when she got home (I damn near passed out from lack of sleep), so I wrote her a nice note telling her that I loved her and I enjoyed dinner and such.

Sunshine

Romance website

I look for anything that can help with my OKMG mission. My buddy Tig gave me a head's up on this website: www.lovingyou.com. I've only briefly checked it out, but one of the first things on their page was an article about doing something romantic for under $10, so you know I'm all over that.

Enjoy!

OKMG #? - Reverse OKMG #3

I guess this is OKMG 13, but I'm not sure.

Anyways...

Yesterday was a slow day for OKMG*. I made T some tea (Ha! I crack me up!) and a snack to break the fast (pitiful way to end it, but next year will be better.). But, T had asked me to do it, so I'm not sure if that counts. She says it does and I guess that's what metters. I did, though, call her on my break from school, which she was usper excited about, because I usually never call her.

Well, in another reverse OKMG move, T bought us these matching necklaces (sorry, but the pic's crappy.).

She presented it to me as a committment for the next 3 months, in which we would wear the necklaces everyday until judgement day, which should have been a great and romantic thing and I should have been way ecstatic, but instead I was super sad. I was/am so sad about the 3 month thing and that she's focusing on that. (I know, that's her perspective. I mean, hello, she is moving out.) Unfortunately, it wasn't the response she was looking for. So I made her feel bad. Which.was.bad.OKMG! So, now I'm in damage control mode: the necklaces are very pretty, she put a lot of thought into the idea and I know that she loves me and wants it to work out...

Loves!

Sunshine

*I'd really love some tips for OKMG when I'm out of the house all day. Thinking maybe a note in the morning or on the mirror. Usually, though, I can't figure out what I'm doing, much less, thinking about OKMG at 6AM.

OKMG - Weekend recap

Friday night I made her this really awesome origami dragon. She LOVED it. Thanks god, because it took me forever to make.


I don't think I did anything for Saturday, but you'll notice that Saturday was a very rough day for OKMG, so it's understandable.

Sunday, I made her some tea and cream of wheat/wheatena mix (don't knock it 'til you've tried it - it's really good and has the best of both: the creaminess of cream of wheat, but the fiber and hartiness (sp?) of wheatena.). I didn't think that was enough, so, before we went to bed, I told her that she was very special to me and that I love her very much and I'm glad we're trying to work this out.

In a reverse OKMG move, T bought me this very pretty necklace. It's very a pro po in that the celtic knot signifies ongoing intertwine-ness (I think). (You can see my scar that I was talking about, too.) She also bought me some vanilla flavored black tea - delish!

I'll tell you, though, I have a huge uphill battle with OKMG. If I can pull this off, it will be amazing and a true testament to how much I love her. I've only referenced here that I need to be romantic, but I have soooo much more to do: I need to make more time for her, but more importantly, I need to stick to honoring the time that we have agreed to spend together, I need to make her more of a priority, and I need to include her more in my daily life (I have this awful habit of not telling her what happened during my day, while she goes into crazy detail about hers. There are reasons why I do it, but basically I don't feel that the stuff I do is interesting to tell anybody and that, more than likely, it's boring. I have always gotten that feeling from other people in my life, so it's hard to break that habit. I do have a plan, though. I've pledged to tell her at least one thing every day.), and I'm sure there are more things I need to do.

OKMG hit a snag again last night and the difficulty of my mission was reinforced by the fact that she's moving out next weekend and everything is not all hunky-dorey, as she let me know. Also, yesterday was the offical day of my 3-month deadline (Dec 31); although you'll notice in my nifty countdown on the right sidebar, I'm actually adding 19 more days to it because that's our 6 year anniversary (Jan 19).

*sigh*

Please send your well-wishes and leave encouraging comments. They really help, even if just to brighten my day.

Loves!

Sunshine

PS - See Sky, look what you're not having to deal with by being single! ;-) Sun

OKMG - Reaffirmed

It's Sunday and I'm supposed to be writing my paper, so this promises to be a very short post.

Yesterday, OKMG took a major, major hit! To the point that the mission was briefly abandoned. Elements not considered in the original plan seriously affected the mission. However, the troops have regrouped, the strategy has been tweaked (just a bit), and the initial goal has been reaffirmed.

Go OKMG!

Sunshine