Single again?

Folks, for the first time in my adult life, I am facing the very real prospect of singledom and it's scary. Not so much in the way of loneliness and missing the other half of me (Though, I expect that, as the situation is more finalized and reality slams into me with a fully-loaded tractor-trailor, this may change.) It's actually more so the fear of losing my best friend ('T'), my other friends, and my social circle.

Before 'T' and I got together, I was young (21) and inexperienced about all things life (Death, sure, but that's a post for another day.). I worked hard, studied hard and did NOTHING ELSE. I mean, it was all work and no play for me. I dallied a bit in the dating world, participated a bit in school clubs and functions, but I had no social life to speak of (Seriously, y'all, during college, I actually worked Fri, Sat, and Sun nights on purpose - that's how hard I worked.).

After I met 'T', everything changed and my life just got livelier. I gained a best friend (previosuly not having had one.); I went out dancing; I met new people. And, to top it off, my new buddies were interesting and dynamic and a little nutty (always a good trait to have). I really started to enjoy life - it's corny but oh so true.

Now, I'm part of a circle of close friends. I tell ya', it is so nice to finally be who I am without fear of judgement. Know what else is cool? I can call every one of these people at 3AM. And now, I am faced with losing that.

You know how it is. When a couple breaks up, it always seems like one person gets to keep the friends. With us, 'T' would be the one to keep the friends and I would be the one who's SOL. So now, I might have to make some new friends. This is going to be damn difficult because, except for this blog, it's really hard for me to open up to people I don't know. Also, without my other half to bring along some ready-made friends and/or someone just throwing people at me, like in college, where am I gonna find these people? (Remember back in school/college when everything was just set up for us? There were the dorms, clubs, functions, classes, etc., where a person would have to work at not meeting new people.)

So, I need to figure out what to do. Some things I can't get around: working at my day job; going to school part-time; and, possibly, working part-time. While that's already a full plate, I still have a few choices. I can dive into my work and school, wallow in trashy romance novels, not have any social life, and just come back up for air when school's over. Like when I'm 32. But, uh, yeah, that's just a little boring and intense. OR I can pull myself up and keep on keepin' on with my friends, while working on developing new friends (y'know, those people-who-I-know-and-are-nice-but-I-never-bothered-to-get-to-know-them-because-I-already-have-friends type of people). Which is what I'm gonna do. My only problem with hanging with the group is that I've always been part of a couple with them; I've never cultivated an individual realtionship with them. Plus, I have no idea how the group is going to recover from this (once, when we when we added another person to the group, it screwed us up for a year.). But, I do believe that we'll work it out. And, I think I know a few people that I can start developing friendships with.

Sunshine