Blood runs thick...

DAMNIT!

One of my best friends lost her mother yesterday and it was the anniversary of her girlfriend's father's death (got it?). I'm not really bummed about the loss, but more so for the hurt that my friends are going through. As 'T' says, that's the worst club in the world to be a member of ('T' is also a member - 2+ years ago T's mom died and it's coming up to her would be birthday.) It just sucks.

I am very blessed to have both of my parents and the majority of my extended family alive. However, I don't see/talk to them near as much. Example, my dad is in the process of going through a divorce and I haven't talked to him for months; my uncle, who is like a brother to me (same age), is having a baby in the next few months and I didn't find out about it until they were 4 months pregnant and, I found out they were having a boy on Myspace - Myspace for chrissake! I have a sister I have never talked to; and I have a nephew who is 1.5 years old and I've seen him once. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming anybody but myself.

What does it take to pick up a phone and call somebody - to ask them how they're doing? Not much. And yet, here I am, writing on my blog instead of talking to them. It's commonplace in our family, this whole lack of communication thing. So much so that we joke about it - "Oh, you know, we're (savvysunshine's last name), and that's how we roll". We have a rule that you have to at least call someone on their birthday, but they can't get mad if you talk to them within a week, but if you don't call them for a month, they can be pissed, but they have to forgive you. WTF is that about? I have leeway not to call someone who is (supposed to be) near and dear to me?!?!

After T's mom died, I promised myself that I would cherish my mom and not take her for granted. Recently, she went through some heavy shit, where I was really concerned about losing her, and I promised myself again that I would not take her for granted. But now, I'm so concerned with the day to day quibbles, I rarely speak to her or have a deep conversation (to be fair, she makes this darn difficult) - superficiality is what it's all about.

Now, all this loss is making me think about my family again and where I would be without them. What does it take, y'all, to call, to write (e-mail), to just plain stay in touch. Sure, I have issues with some of these people (Gramma's not happy about the bisexuality thing), but that doesn't matter. I love these people and I need to stay in touch.

How does everyone else do it? Seriously, how do I go from not speaking to these people even once a year, to speaking with them once a month (my goal)?

Sunshine

PS: Please excuse me for any misspellings, poor grammar, and the like.