Zippity do da, Zippity yay, My oh my, what a wonderful day!

Y'all, this weekend was great! It was superfantabulous! We really, really, really needed this.

The feelings that happened this weekend are hard to write out, so excuse the hesitancy and choppiness in my words...

T was a little late in picking me up (this wasn't good because all it did was feed into my fears that T was going to stand me up or something). Things were a little awkward when she came and got me, actually, they were awkward until we got back to her house. Shortly after we got to her place, I grabbed her and hugged her on the bed. I think we hugged for 30 minutes. I was sad-happy, happy, and filled-with-jubilation-happy. I told T that I was soooo happy to see her and how I had missed her so much. She was genuinely shocked to hear me say all that stuff because I don't normally talk that way. But I was! I was filled with all these emotions, jumbled all together. When we were laying there, I alternated from being sad and crying to super happy and bouncy. It felt so good to be in her arms. I can't accurately describe the feeling - just to say that when I tell T that home is in her arms, in that moment, it was truer than it had ever been.

I told her that I had/have been filled with anxieties and uncertainties and that after being in her arms, I was good for at least a few days. She told me that, for the most part, my fears were unfounded(!), which made me feels much better. Yes, we still have stuff to work on, but at least I know that she's not going to jump ship at any moment.

So, for a quick recap:

We got home and talked for a bit. Then we ate dinner and watched a movie (the bridge of San Louis Rey or something with Bobbie D - weird). We talked some more, we cuddled, we watched another movie (what?) and well, you know... We slept. We woke up. I cooked breakfast (pancakes - regular and chocolate chip). We watched another movie (Xmen 3 - Hugh Jackman as Wolverine is dreamy...).

Before breakfast, I recommitted myself to OKMG. I also told her that I'm not doing this just for her, I'm doing this for me as well. This is a learning process for me. I'm learning to put myself out there and that I can give myself (though not everything) and it's ok and I won't get shot down (as is my history). It's ok to put myself out there, etc., etc. (I'm prob gonna write a whole post on that, but y'all get the idea.)

While we were eating and watching X-men, T told me that we are going to make it though this and make it work. I got all mushy because that's the first time she said that throughout this entire time, OKMG and all. She recognizes that I have been making an effort and really trying to make her feel special, which is what she wanted all along. Sure, we have some stuff to work on, but we'll get through it. I jumped up and down (literally) and started hootin' and hollerin'!

Later, it was time to get ready and go, which neither of us wanted, but we had to. I had left my school work at home because it needed to be finished and I didn't want to be tempted. T had some car trouble so she had to hang out at my place for a bit (we all know how long AAA takes...). While she was waiting, she started to not feel well and needed some SLC (Sunshine's loving care). I ended up finishing my homework mostly, so we went back to T's place and I took care of her (hehe). And now I'm at work with her car and I'm spending the night tonight also!

So, to recap my recap, we really needed this weekend. I think that if it had not gone well, we would have thrown in the towel. But it went well and things are great!

I hope all of that made sense. I know it's a long post, but there's a lot of stuff that went on.

Sunshine

PS I updated my 4:30 AM post.