Save the drama fo' yo' mama!

I wish I could say that and mean it, but, nooooo, I'm a lame-O and can't!

*Be forewarned, friends of T and Sunshine - this is a rant and I'm a bit pissed. I have tried to provide both sides of the argument, but, realistically, it's not possible.*

So, yesterday started off good. We slept well, T drove me to work and it was kinda sad (as it should be), we chatted on the phone several times, and then - BAM! - about 4 PM, drama. I'll give the deets, but what actually happened isn't really significant because this shit happens all the time now.

Anyway... We had a genuine misunderstanding on both of our parts (as I see it) as to what we were going to do for dinner last night. I invited her out, she agreed, I forgot that my mom was cooking, I said let me call her, T copped an attitude, we did not have dinner. We discussed it later on the long, cold ride home. We proceeded to have an argument ("discussion") and she left by peeling out of the driveway and me crying on the damn sidewalk.

Misunderstandings are as follows: T thought I was saying that because my mom was supposed to cook, I couldn't go out with her (T) and she got mad that I chose my mom over her; I was actually going to call my mom to see if she had cooked yet, to tell her not to if she hadn't. I, on the other hand, took T's reticence that she had changed her mind and did not want to go out.

Obviously, we both should have clarified.

We were able to work through it or, more accurately, push it aside, and we chatted later, clarified our positions somewhat (she's still upset with me) and passed a peaceful evening alone.

(There was some other associated mom drama earlier, but it's just the same shit.)

~~~~~

Let me tell y'all, I am getting tired of this crap. Real fast.
(I know she is, too, but this is about me, damnit!)

I can't figure out what the effing problem is. Am I continually making mistakes? Are they getting worse? Is T more sensitive to any mistakes (something that would have gone unnoticed before is now prime grounds for a "discussion")? Am I not proving myself enough? Is this ish with my mom really the effing problem? Is T more insecure than she should be? Am I stupid that I can't figure it out?

Of course, maddeningly, the fucking (effing just doesn't cut it on this one) answer is yes to all of them (except the stupid one, I can't claim that)!

I don't know what to do about this stuff with my mom and T. I really don't. I know that the situation was set up when we all lived together and a good portion of it is my fault - for not standing up to both of them and actively working to find a common ground, but what the eff am I supposed to do now? T is uber-insecure (I don't mean that in a judgemental way, it just is) about my mom and I don't know how to combat/fix it. Why should I have to choose between T and my mom? I shouldn't have to and I know that.

I don't know, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. T feels that she has been grievously wronged by my mom. The question is how do I fix it or make it better or move forward?

Arrrgh! Help, please.

Sunshine