What? It's over?
I gave up, y'all. Yep, I called the whole thing - OKMG, relationship and all, off!
Now that I have your attention, let me give you the details:
OK, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, the snafu about my pseudosingle post.
Well, tensions were still simmering on Saturday when T picked me up, even though we didn't talk about it. Sure, we ate, we drank, etc., but something was amiss. I can't describe it, but it was there.
We watched a movie, Imagine Me & You
So, of course, I lost it. I mean, just ballin away.
And T's like, WTF, what's going on, why are you crying, etc. I told her that I only wanted to make her happy and if she was miserable, what was the point of staying together and OKMG and all?
Plus, I couldn't put up with always waiting for the other shoe to drop, that no matter what I did, it wasn't going to be enough, because if I made a mistake, big or small, I was in for it. It's too much pressure and I'll never be able to measure up - NEVER! Certainly, I realize that what I am doing now does not negate all the stuff that I didn't do in the past 6 years (her main point and concern), but it's a start in the right direction.
So, after much crying and hullabaloo (I just like that word), and talking back and forth, basically, I told her I needed to go home. I mean, I just laid it out there. Y'know, let me go if you're (T) not in this with me.
Well, that hit T pretty hard, because she realised that I was serious. That, yes, she has a right to stand up for herself and get the things she wants, but it's not going to happen over night with me and I am going to make mistakes.
So we talked a bit more and she told me that she wants to be with me...
We left it at me working harder at not making mistakes (*ahem* using the 's'-word), with her giving me some slack and realising that I am going to make mistakes and that it does not mean that I am not committed to OKMG, etc.
Oy, I have not cried as much in the entire span of our relationship as I have in this last month and a half.
Sunshine
7 comments:
LOL (seriously) at you, Maidink!
One word that I don't use near enough, now that I can curse, is nincompoop (sp?). That's the best word, oh, and twit. I like twit.
Sunshine
well at least it wasn't a melee. i think that is the word i was looking for. you word lover you!
imagine you and me was sad? i thought it had happy ending... it currently beats 'kissing jessica stein' as one of my favorite lesbian movies... minus "the love letter" of course or even 'love actually' but i'm a british humor girl
Melee - oooh, good one!
(I also like detritus, but that is another context. I also like to practice the way that words sound, especially those from other languages.)
No, no, no. The "almost-ending" was sad. I guess I wasn't clear enough (I'm noticing a trend, here.)
THe actual ending was great, I love it when stuff works out like that. But the part where the girl and the guy break up was torture.
But, then again, I am the type of person who completely feels the emotions that the movie-makers are trying to have me feel. ie, I jump up and down, I scream at the people, I get all sappy-eyed, etc.
i give you major props for watching this with a significant other with whom there are "relationship questions". i LOVED this movie, but was balling ! so good, so deep, such a sad sad portrayal of the reality of beginnings and endings...
You know, if I would have known what the movie was, I might not have watched it. However, it's obviously good that we did, because we needed it.
I was starting to feel like all I was doing was prostrating (how's that for a good word, Sky?) myself at the feet of T and it was starting to get old.
Now, T realises this and she's got a different attitude.
So, it was good.
That's awesome for you guys!
Thanks Di! I feel the same way...
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