Introspection - Part 2 - *Updated*

(I updated the first part)

6. Honesty, clear and true honesty, to one's self foremost, and to one's partner second, is usually, but not always, the best course of action.

I won't go into too much detail, but if I'm not honest with myself about what I want or need, how am I supposed to be honest with Tara and get what I need from her. This is the only way to build trust. However, it is not just a one way street. Both people need to trust each other for it to work. Also, walls (which are a trust issue) are never a good idea. Sure, they keep you protected, but they also shut everyone else out. How are you supposed to grow that way? (Much thanks to my friend Kat for help on this one. She does Tarot card readings!)

7. Just as Tara has her limits of what she's going to put up with, I, too, have my limits of what I can and will do.

Lately, Tara has been very clear about what she will or won't put up with. This is understandable, given what she put up with for the early part of our relationship. I started out OKMG not knowing what I could or couldn't do. Now I know. I am learning that the hyper-level that I was doing (for me) is too much, at least right now. I am also learning that, while I can change (see 10), it is a slow process that will take some time. It can't happen as fast as Tara wants it too. This is something we are negotiating right now.

8. We need to really quit this "Do we want to stay together or not" bullshit, because we know we want to . We just need to figure it out.

This is pretty self-explanatory. But it's hard. We make it out so that our only choice, if we don't get our way, is to break up. But, we don't want to. We need to figure out a way to be angry, work through that anger, and move on, without breaking up. (Suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.)

9. The supposed "freedom" that I thought I had been lacking all along was caused by me, not Tara.

I won't comment on this too much, because it is deeply personal. However, it has been a watershed of a revelation to me. (Thanks again to Kat!)

10. A person can change, or rather, evolve, if they really want to.

When I started OKMG, I thought it was all about giving Tara what she wanted - to be more romantic and place her in higher priority. But it hasn't. Looking at 1-9, I can see that it has become so much more and on a far more personal level. Now it is as much about me as it is about her - actually, it might be more so about me than her.

Thanks for reading!

Sunshine

Part 1

Sunshine